As Christians, we were never promised that this road would be easy or pain-free. In fact, many times it’s quite the opposite. As humans, we can’t help but wonder why we struggle with things or have to go through trials. For those of you who know me well, you know I’m a bit of a worrier. Actually, that’s an understatement. I’ve actually sent myself to the Emergency Room with an ulcer from worrying so much.
The biggest thing I worry about is “what if I’m not saved?” I know deep in my heart that I am. I have been since I was six years old when I asked Jesus to save me. It’s the head part that I can’t turn off. With time, I’ve come to realize I do this with everything. “Did I really lock the door?” “Did I really turn my headlights off?” “What did he really mean when he said that?” The enemy LOVES this. I let him cripple me with my own thoughts.
For years I’ve wondered why do I keep struggling with worry and doubt. I ask for help and then I always seem to pick it back up. Or I’m better for a while and then I let it creep back in. I’m finally realizing it’s so I can help someone who is going through the same thing. I was in the middle of getting ready when The Lord put it on my heart so heavy to write this post that I had to sit down on the couch and start writing. I was listening to a podcast while I was in the shower. The topic was about being your authentic self. Last night, I listened to a business training about being your authentic self. It’s like The Lord is telling me, this is why. This is why you need to share. There are people out there who need someone to connect with, who need an encouraging word, who need to know they will be okay.
Do I still worry? Yes. Is it as bad as it used to be? No. The Lord has been working in my life in so many ways. He’s answered so many prayers and worked in so many situations. He’s growing me as a Christian and as a person. There were many times I dreaded going to Church because I was afraid of what might happen, or I might need to go to the altar, or plainly, afraid of the unknown. I’m pretty sure those feelings stem from what happened when I was an adolescent, but that’s another post for another day. But regardless of what it is, He’s helping me through it all. I’m actually looking forward to going to Church again.
I can’t say I understand it all or that I ever will here on Earth. My favorite chapter (1 Corinthians 13) says that now I see through a glass darkly but then shall I know even as I am known. All I can do is trust in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and talk to my Heavenly Father every day and ask Him for the grace to get through another day. Hopefully along the way, I might be an encouragement to someone else.
I don’t have any million-dollar advice. But I do know the only Hope we have is to trust God and His Word. The Bible says He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. Thank You Lord Jesus Christ for Saving me!
